" Her voice was just above a whisper, and there was a ring of finality that told me she was serious."What?" I asked, incredulous."You heard me," she said. I'd seen that look of determination in her eyes before. Her mind was made up, but I had to try to change it."Can we talk about this?" I told you that I've been doing a lot of thinking. We're from two different worlds, Brian. This isn't going anywhere. It can't. You'll be going home for Thanksgiving next week. We have to break it off sooner or later It will be better if it comes to an end now." I'll be coming back. There's the barn that... ," I became quiet, knowing how lame I sounded. She was right. Work on the barn would not take long, and there would be no need for me to hang around after that."We'll conduct business by email. You know I'll cast my votes to agree with your decisions. You'll have my full support to settle the estate as you see fit." With that, she turned and was halfway up the stairs before I fully digested what. My first reaction was to tell Lori to go clean the impulse manifolds in her pajamas. But then I started thinking, and realized that for her to know, Ruth must have told her. And by told her, I mean the whole, sordid mess. Otherwise Lori would wonder why Ruth fell asleep on the phone with me, a guy who was not her "boyfriend" and for whom she had no feelings other than that of friendship.That gave me hope. It made me realize that Ruth really did care about where our relationship was at present, and where it was headed. It told me also that she was not capable of seeing me in the role of "boyfriend." In order for me to be her boyfriend meant terminating the special friendship we had, at least in her mind. She couldn't bear to lose me as a friend. That's what she eventually told me, when I finally summoned up the courage to tell her outright that I loved her.Over the decades since, I've gone over our strange relationship in my mind thousands of times, trying to figure out just what was.
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